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  2. FLOTSAM ANS JETSAM.

    Visitor (to artist's young wife): "Whatever were you two laughing over so just now ?" Wife : "Oh, it was such fun! My ...

    Article : 43 words
  3. THE SCRUPULOUS WAITER.

    A man, after eating a good dinner, said to a waiter: "I am sorry I can't give you a tip, but I find I have only just enough money to ...

    Article : 53 words
  4. A CABBY DONE.

    A lawyer having had occasion to summon an abusive cabman, was surprised when his clerk informed him that the cabby, not recognising him, had called to ...

    Article : 108 words
  5. IT SOUNDED UNGRATEFUL.

    A frugal and industrious shoemaker has two daughters, of whom he is very proud. He provides a good home for them, dresses them well, and is giving them a ...

    Article : 122 words
  6. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    "[Do you think his words have any weight?"-"Well, he makes some pretty heavy speeches." A man generally does not get any ...

    Article : 914 words
  7. LUCKY JONES.

    The editor of a paper in Western Indians declares it to be a fact that a "cub" reporter on an Evansville sheet in describing the murder of a man in an adjacent ...

    Article : 73 words
  8. A GOOD GUESS.

    Lady: " I want some collars for my husband, but I am afraid I've forgotten the size." Shopman: "Thirteen and a half, mum?" ...

    Article : 54 words
  9. WIT ON THE WOOLSACK.

    A stone mason with a sense of humour at one time employed Judge Lee of Virginia to write a deed for him, and was greatly surprised when he discovered that ...

    Article : 203 words
  10. SENATOR SPOONER'S SHOOTING.

    On one of his hunting trips, Senator Spooner, of Wisconsin, had for his guide Bill Murray. They were out looking for bear and deer one day, when Murray ...

    Article : 128 words
  11. GETTING BACK.

    A sarcastic lawyer, during the trial of a case, made the use of the expression, "Cast not your pearls before swine. Subsequently as he arose to make the ...

    Article : 69 words
  12. ONLY RESTING.

    Allessandro is an adorable infant—to his parents, One day his mother, to punish him, deprived him of his fruit at dinner. He yelled at the top of his voice for two ...

    Article : 70 words
  13. GETTING HIS TROUSSEAU READY.

    The kindly Squire of the neighbourhood was just leaving from a friendly social visit to Mrs. Maguire. "And your son, Mrs. Maguire?" said ...

    Article : 73 words
  14. WAS OUT OF DANGER.

    Dr. Whipple, long Bishop of Minnesota, was about to hold religious services near an Indian village in one of the Western States, and before going to the place of ...

    Article : 70 words
  15. WHAT HE WAS AFRAID OF.

    The late Charles Hodson, Chief Clerk of the American Embassy in London, served under eight American Ministers—Lowell, Welsh, Bayard, Hay, and so on. ...

    Article : 167 words
  16. ELLENBOROUGH'S SARCASM.

    There are few places that have given birth to more humour and wit than the courtroom. Many have heard of the humour of the famous Lord Ellenborough. ...

    Article : 210 words
  17. A PERPLEXED FOREIGNER.

    Two Frenchmen met one day, and: one said to the other :— "As I was coming down the street today a young man stopped and said to me. ...

    Article : 104 words
  18. AN ATTACK ON THE CLOTH.

    A Scotch minister took one of his parishioners to task one day because he never came to church, golfing instead all summer, and curling all winter long. ...

    Article : 68 words
  19. STUNNED THE BISHOP.

    A negro who had many times applied for membership in St. Paul's Church at Burlington, United States, but who had not been able to satisfy the Bishop that ...

    Article : 119 words
  20. RUSTIC SIMPLICITY.

    A lady took into her service a maidservant who possessed what was regarded as the merit of hailing from the country One day the household left home, and ...

    Article : 116 words
  21. WOULD MAKE A POOR GUIDE.

    While the Rev. Doctor Harris was temporarily in Washington he engaged to speak at a Sunday school concert in Georgetown. As it was a perfect day he ...

    Article : 177 words
  22. ANECDOTES OF DAN O'CONNELL.

    There are a good many interesting stories told of the famous Daniel O'Connell. Once he was defending a prisoner indicted for murder. The principal witness against the ...

    Article : 386 words
  23. COULDNT BE SO OLD.

    Alphonse Mucha, the French artist whose posters of graceful American women are no less popular in America than in Paris, is making a tour of the ...

    Article : 148 words
  24. TOO IMPATIENT.

    A prominent physician, whose speciality was physical diagnosis, required his patients, before entering his private consultation room, to divest themselves of all ...

    Article : 121 words
  25. SAYINGS OF SYDNEY SMITH.

    On examining some new flowers in the garden, a beautiful girl who was of the party exclaimed, " Oh, Mr. Smith ! this [?]ea will never come to perfection."— ...

    Article : 237 words
  26. HAD A LONG ROOT.

    An Irishman, with one jaw very much swollen from a tooth that he wished to have pulled, entered the office of a Washington dentist. ...

    Article : 149 words
  27. FROM BAD TO WORSE.

    The late Lord Leighton, President of the Royal Academy, once had a chance to learn something about himself that perhaps he had not suspected. His chance ...

    Article : 142 words
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