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  2. Two Good Reasons.

    Mr. Biker: "You seem to think more of your bicycle than you do of me." Mrs. Biker: "Why not? It supports me nicely; besides, it is not so easily broke." ...

    Article : 33 words
  3. Putting Up a Record.

    First Wheelman: "Scoreher made a new record to day." Second Wheelman: "Yes? What was it?" First Wheelman; " He ran down six people in 2 miles." ...

    Article : 30 words
  4. Rejected.

    An English sailor going into an inn in Germany entered into conversation with a German at the bar, at the end of which the German asked the sailor to drink to the health ...

    Article : 82 words
  5. Alotsam and Jetsam

    Patchin: "Why are they no longer friends?" Patch: "They went into business together." ...

    Article : 21 words
  6. A Cruel Revenge.

    She: "I heard about the elopement. Has her mother forgiven them?" He: "I think not. I understand she has gone to live with them." ...

    Article : 27 words
  7. Business Forethought.

    Customer: "Thirteen eggs for a shilling, hey ? I am rather superstitious about No. 13; just put one more to make it fourteen." Grocer: "I can't do that, but I will take ...

    Article : 42 words
  8. Past Tense.

    "Ma, is there any pie left in the pantry ?" "There is one piece, bat you can't have it." "You are mistaken, ma—I've had it." ...

    Article : 27 words
  9. Literally.

    He: "But the worst of cycling is—that it brings one in contact with all kinds of people." She (thinking of her bruises): "It certainly does! Especially the first week or so." ...

    Article : 32 words
  10. A Painful Memory,

    A lady took her 5-year-old son to a photographer's to have his picture taken. She was anxious to secure a good likeness, but the child's idea of the affair did not apparently ...

    Article : 142 words
  11. Racy.

    Miss De Muir: " Papa, this is Mr. Galloper —no, I mean, Mr. Pacer." The Young Man: "I beg pardon, but my name is Trotter." ...

    Article : 43 words
  12. How He Knew.

    She: "Are you sure it was a year to-day that we became engaged, dear?" He: "Yes; I looked it up in my chequebook this morning." ...

    Article : 28 words
  13. Thoughtful.

    Mistress: "Why, Mary, you have dated your letter a week ahead." Maid: " Yis'in ; it will take over a week for it to get to me mother, and she wouldn't care ...

    Article : 41 words
  14. Not Her Fault.

    Miss Pepproy: "Why, she doesn't look as if she knew her own name." Miss Newitt: " She doesn't, half the time." Miss Pepprey: "Really?" ...

    Article : 38 words
  15. The Prevalent Fashion.

    Beauty: "My face feels on fire—is it very red?" Beast: "I can't sea it; but I fancy I smell paint burning!" ...

    Article : 24 words
  16. Second Thoughts.

    Sambo: "What would you do if a man called you a liar ?" Rastus: "To my face?" Sambo: " Yes." ...

    Article : 32 words
  17. A Bargain.

    Tess: "Isn't she a peculiar girl? She wouldn't look at him when he was rich, but now, after he's lost all his money, she accepts him." ...

    Article : 43 words
  18. Trouble in the Museum.

    "Anything wrong?" asked the manager as he encountered an attendant running for a doctor. "I should say so. Sword swallower's ...

    Article : 27 words
  19. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.—HUDIBRAS. There should be no tacks on bicycles. In the spring the young man's fancy lightly ...

    Article : 706 words
  20. Always Welcome.

    "The last thing I sent to this paper," said Melancholia, "was accepted immediately." "What!" cried Scribe in astonishment. "What was it?" ...

    Article : 30 words
  21. Quite Cool.

    "Ma, I can't breathe," whimpered Johnny, who had been tucked head and foot under the buffalo robe while taking a sleigh ride with his father and mother on a cold winter ...

    Article : 50 words
  22. The Model Husband.

    Wifey: "Do you think there is a man that could conscientiously say to his wife, 'You are the only woman I ever loved'?" Hubby: "Only one that I can think of." ...

    Article : 43 words
  23. Had Been There Before.

    Lady (engaging servant): "I ought to tell you that we are all strict teetotallers here. I suppose you won't mind that?" Mary Jane: "Oh, no, mum. I've been in ...

    Article : 38 words
  24. Bad Times Coming for Papa.

    Mother : " But what makes you think nurse steals the sugar ?" Bebe: " Because papa tells her her lips are o sweet." ...

    Article : 29 words
  25. The Worst of It.

    "Is it true that your husband's uncle shot himself .in your house ?" asked Mrs. Darley of Mrs. M Bridg. "Yes." ...

    Article : 53 words
  26. Just a Fit.

    Clerk: "What style, of hat do yon wish, sir?" Cholly: "Ah, I'm not particular about the style; .something to suit my head, don't ye ...

    Article : 40 words
  27. Before Marriage.

    She: "Do you remember, Frank, the night you- proposed to me, I hung my head and said nothing." He: "Do I remember it? Well, I should ...

    Article : 42 words
  28. Diplomacy.

    "And are you quite sure that you- wouldn't mind me as a mother in-law?" said- Mr?; Sterlingworth archly when Mr. Giddings asked her for her daughter's hand. ...

    Article : 58 words
  29. Well Up In Figures.

    Teacher: "Come, come, Dick; what comes after ten?" Dick: "Eight, nine, ten-er-I dunno." Teacher: "Bobby, can you tell Dick what ...

    Article : 36 words
  30. The Brute.

    " The new boarder," said the Sweetest Girl, "must know a good deal about women. He has been married four times" " A man who was fool enough for that," ...

    Article : 45 words
  31. Chance for Athletes.

    Farmer: "Yes, I want a man. Are you a good jumper?" Applicant: "Jumper? Well, yes." "You could jump a barbed-wire tence ...

    Article : 52 words
  32. The Waiter's Description.

    Mrs. Miller (entering a restaurant): "Do you know if Mr. Miller is here ?" Waiter: "Isn't he an old man with a big red nose?" ...

    Article : 56 words
  33. The Same Old Trouble.

    "I remember your wife as such a dainty and pretty little thing, Humly, and yet they tell me she has-turned out a fine cook." "Turned out a fine cook? She has turned ...

    Article : 45 words
  34. Mixed Metaphor.

    Editor: "What is that horrible noise in the outer office?" Assistant: "It is Mr. Poeticus who has just called." ...

    Article : 64 words
  35. Not a Drunkard.

    "This," said the man who-had his arm in a sling, "is the result of taking a drop too much." " What!" exclaimed his friend. " I thought ...

    Article : 50 words
  36. A Pure-minded Man.

    "Remember one thing I am about to tell you," said the politioian to the ambitious young man. "It is a rule that is worth remembering." ...

    Article : 48 words
  37. A Diagnosis.

    The Wife: "It seems strange that Mrs. Van Tooler, with an income of £30,000, should always be so deeply in debt." The Husband: " The trouble is, my dear ...

    Article : 50 words
  38. Cabby's Wit.

    A well-known London alderman recently took a cab to his residence, which is near a cemetery, and offered the man eighteen pence, which was just his legal fare and no ...

    Article : 97 words
  39. A Change for the Better.

    He: "What a pity that Miss Vere de Vere should have lost her good name." She (greatly shocked): "Why, what do you mean ?" ...

    Article : 38 words
  40. A Fair Compromise.

    Jaeggers: "I gave my boy a drum, and I notice you have given yours a horn. Now, can't we arrange a compromise in some way?" Flint (of the next flat): "What do you ...

    Article : 58 words
  41. The Difficult Part.

    She: "What do you think of Mrs. Howells' idea of getting up a dinner for four persons at a cost of only two shillings?" He: "Oh, I've no doubt she could get the ...

    Article : 55 words
  42. A Long Time Out.

    The revenue cutters of Great Britain confine their services to' the coast, and it is. a rare thing indeed for any of them to venture any distance put to sea. Nor is this rule an ...

    Article : 200 words
  43. Little Beginnings.

    "I wish you would tell me," said the kind old' Judge to the lady burglar, " how you came to adopt such a disreputable profession. How did'you begin?" ...

    Article : 55 words
  44. Sensible.

    Stern Papa: "So that young whippersnapper, Smith, wants to marry you ?" Daughter: "Yes, papa. What did you say?" ...

    Article : 141 words
  45. Putting It Politely.

    Suitor: "How much dowry will you give your daughter ?" Father: "A thousand for every year of her age" ...

    Article : 40 words
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