Mr. Biker: "You seem to think more of your bicycle than you do of me." Mrs. Biker: "Why not? It supports me nicely; besides, it is not so easily broke." ...
Article : 33 wordsFirst Wheelman: "Scoreher made a new record to day." Second Wheelman: "Yes? What was it?" First Wheelman; " He ran down six people in 2 miles." ...
Article : 30 wordsAn English sailor going into an inn in Germany entered into conversation with a German at the bar, at the end of which the German asked the sailor to drink to the health ...
Article : 82 wordsPatchin: "Why are they no longer friends?" Patch: "They went into business together." ...
Article : 21 wordsShe: "I heard about the elopement. Has her mother forgiven them?" He: "I think not. I understand she has gone to live with them." ...
Article : 27 wordsCustomer: "Thirteen eggs for a shilling, hey ? I am rather superstitious about No. 13; just put one more to make it fourteen." Grocer: "I can't do that, but I will take ...
Article : 42 words"Ma, is there any pie left in the pantry ?" "There is one piece, bat you can't have it." "You are mistaken, ma—I've had it." ...
Article : 27 wordsHe: "But the worst of cycling is—that it brings one in contact with all kinds of people." She (thinking of her bruises): "It certainly does! Especially the first week or so." ...
Article : 32 wordsA lady took her 5-year-old son to a photographer's to have his picture taken. She was anxious to secure a good likeness, but the child's idea of the affair did not apparently ...
Article : 142 wordsMiss De Muir: " Papa, this is Mr. Galloper —no, I mean, Mr. Pacer." The Young Man: "I beg pardon, but my name is Trotter." ...
Article : 43 wordsShe: "Are you sure it was a year to-day that we became engaged, dear?" He: "Yes; I looked it up in my chequebook this morning." ...
Article : 28 wordsMistress: "Why, Mary, you have dated your letter a week ahead." Maid: " Yis'in ; it will take over a week for it to get to me mother, and she wouldn't care ...
Article : 41 wordsMiss Pepproy: "Why, she doesn't look as if she knew her own name." Miss Newitt: " She doesn't, half the time." Miss Pepprey: "Really?" ...
Article : 38 wordsBeauty: "My face feels on fire—is it very red?" Beast: "I can't sea it; but I fancy I smell paint burning!" ...
Article : 24 wordsSambo: "What would you do if a man called you a liar ?" Rastus: "To my face?" Sambo: " Yes." ...
Article : 32 wordsTess: "Isn't she a peculiar girl? She wouldn't look at him when he was rich, but now, after he's lost all his money, she accepts him." ...
Article : 43 words"Anything wrong?" asked the manager as he encountered an attendant running for a doctor. "I should say so. Sword swallower's ...
Article : 27 wordsA little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.—HUDIBRAS. There should be no tacks on bicycles. In the spring the young man's fancy lightly ...
Article : 706 words"The last thing I sent to this paper," said Melancholia, "was accepted immediately." "What!" cried Scribe in astonishment. "What was it?" ...
Article : 30 words"Ma, I can't breathe," whimpered Johnny, who had been tucked head and foot under the buffalo robe while taking a sleigh ride with his father and mother on a cold winter ...
Article : 50 wordsWifey: "Do you think there is a man that could conscientiously say to his wife, 'You are the only woman I ever loved'?" Hubby: "Only one that I can think of." ...
Article : 43 wordsLady (engaging servant): "I ought to tell you that we are all strict teetotallers here. I suppose you won't mind that?" Mary Jane: "Oh, no, mum. I've been in ...
Article : 38 wordsMother : " But what makes you think nurse steals the sugar ?" Bebe: " Because papa tells her her lips are o sweet." ...
Article : 29 words"Is it true that your husband's uncle shot himself .in your house ?" asked Mrs. Darley of Mrs. M Bridg. "Yes." ...
Article : 53 wordsClerk: "What style, of hat do yon wish, sir?" Cholly: "Ah, I'm not particular about the style; .something to suit my head, don't ye ...
Article : 40 wordsShe: "Do you remember, Frank, the night you- proposed to me, I hung my head and said nothing." He: "Do I remember it? Well, I should ...
Article : 42 words"And are you quite sure that you- wouldn't mind me as a mother in-law?" said- Mr?; Sterlingworth archly when Mr. Giddings asked her for her daughter's hand. ...
Article : 58 wordsTeacher: "Come, come, Dick; what comes after ten?" Dick: "Eight, nine, ten-er-I dunno." Teacher: "Bobby, can you tell Dick what ...
Article : 36 words" The new boarder," said the Sweetest Girl, "must know a good deal about women. He has been married four times" " A man who was fool enough for that," ...
Article : 45 wordsFarmer: "Yes, I want a man. Are you a good jumper?" Applicant: "Jumper? Well, yes." "You could jump a barbed-wire tence ...
Article : 52 wordsMrs. Miller (entering a restaurant): "Do you know if Mr. Miller is here ?" Waiter: "Isn't he an old man with a big red nose?" ...
Article : 56 words"I remember your wife as such a dainty and pretty little thing, Humly, and yet they tell me she has-turned out a fine cook." "Turned out a fine cook? She has turned ...
Article : 45 wordsEditor: "What is that horrible noise in the outer office?" Assistant: "It is Mr. Poeticus who has just called." ...
Article : 64 words"This," said the man who-had his arm in a sling, "is the result of taking a drop too much." " What!" exclaimed his friend. " I thought ...
Article : 50 words"Remember one thing I am about to tell you," said the politioian to the ambitious young man. "It is a rule that is worth remembering." ...
Article : 48 wordsThe Wife: "It seems strange that Mrs. Van Tooler, with an income of £30,000, should always be so deeply in debt." The Husband: " The trouble is, my dear ...
Article : 50 wordsA well-known London alderman recently took a cab to his residence, which is near a cemetery, and offered the man eighteen pence, which was just his legal fare and no ...
Article : 97 wordsHe: "What a pity that Miss Vere de Vere should have lost her good name." She (greatly shocked): "Why, what do you mean ?" ...
Article : 38 wordsJaeggers: "I gave my boy a drum, and I notice you have given yours a horn. Now, can't we arrange a compromise in some way?" Flint (of the next flat): "What do you ...
Article : 58 wordsShe: "What do you think of Mrs. Howells' idea of getting up a dinner for four persons at a cost of only two shillings?" He: "Oh, I've no doubt she could get the ...
Article : 55 wordsThe revenue cutters of Great Britain confine their services to' the coast, and it is. a rare thing indeed for any of them to venture any distance put to sea. Nor is this rule an ...
Article : 200 words"I wish you would tell me," said the kind old' Judge to the lady burglar, " how you came to adopt such a disreputable profession. How did'you begin?" ...
Article : 55 wordsStern Papa: "So that young whippersnapper, Smith, wants to marry you ?" Daughter: "Yes, papa. What did you say?" ...
Article : 141 wordsSuitor: "How much dowry will you give your daughter ?" Father: "A thousand for every year of her age" ...
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The Queenslander (Brisbane, Qld. : 1866 - 1939), Sat 5 May 1900, Page 836
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