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  2. THE LAMP KNEW WHAT TO DO.

    Mary had a little lamp; It was well trained, no doubt; 'Cause every time that John came in That little lamp went out. ...

    Article : 29 words
  3. EMIGRATING "SLACKERS."

    Exciting scenes were witnessed at Liverpool to-day. A large number of Irish emigrants embarking aboard a Cunard liner were obliged to run the gauntlet through ...

    Article : 155 words
  4. JUST TO MAKE YOU SMILE.

    A young lawyer had been appointed to defend a negro who was too poor to employ counsel for himself. Eager for an acquittal, the young attorney challenged ...

    Article : 127 words
  5. WHERE HE STOOD.

    "Am I good enough for you?" sighed the fond lover. "No," said the girl candidly," "you're not, but you are too good for any other ...

    Article : 29 words
  6. HUMAN NATURE.

    "It's a funny thing about human nature," said Jones, as he walked home with his next-door neighbor. "What's funny about it?" ...

    Article : 53 words
  7. EASILY EXPLAINED.

    "P'taters is good this mornin', Madam," said the old farmer, making his usual weekly call. "Oh, are they?" retorted the customer. ...

    Article : 81 words
  8. IT WAS APPARENT.

    The Governor's wife was telling Bridget about her husband. "My husband, Bridget," she said proudly, "is at the head of the State militia." ...

    Article : 43 words
  9. WHEN THE WAITER CAME.

    "Were you ringing the bell, sir?" asked the waiter of the customer who had been busy with the bell for 15 minutes. "Ringing it, man?" echoed the customer. ...

    Article : 42 words
  10. A REQUEST OR A WARNING?

    Mrs. K. was on a visit to her parents and wrote the following card to her next door neighbor at home:— "Dear Mrs. G.—Will you do me a favor ...

    Article : 76 words
  11. THEY ALL DID.

    A boy was asked by his Sunday-school teacher to write a short essay on Elisha, and this is what he brought next Sunday: There was a man named Elisha. He had ...

    Article : 77 words
  12. BRIGADIER-GENERAL M'CAY.

    On board the R.M.S. Malwa, which arrived at Fremantle last night, is Brigadier General J. W. M'Cay, C.B., V.D., commander of the 2nd (Victorian) Brigade, who ...

    Article : 205 words
  13. A WISE OMISSION.

    Murphy, the foreman, was sent to the railroad office to report a slight accident in the gang repairing the track. He was handed a blank, and got along all right ...

    Article : 91 words
  14. HAD ALREADY DONE SO.

    "What's the matter, little boy?" asked the kind-hearted old gentleman of the youth who was yelling lustily. "Boo, hoo, boo, hoo," sobbed the boy. ...

    Article : 51 words
  15. A DAUGHTER'S LAUGHTER.

    With increasing amusement he laughed, Because of his daughter's wild laughter; Then he said: "Though I seem to be daught I am sure that my daughter is daughter." ...

    Article : 31 words
  16. THE RETORT ECONOMICAL.

    A heated discussion was in progress at a woman's club, when one of the members arose and said in a decided voice: "I am going to express my opinions." ...

    Article : 73 words
  17. WHY HE OBJECTED.

    "Now," said the Principal, to one of the pupils, at the close of the lesson in which he had touched on the horrors of war, "do you object to war, my boy?" ...

    Article : 60 words
  18. A QUICK THINKER.

    They had just been married, and were about to start on their wedding trip. As is the custom with bridgerooms, he was embarrassed to the point of forgetfulness, ...

    Article : 62 words
  19. THINK IT OVER.

    Jones was reading in the paper a description of a society function in which Mrs. Jones had figured prominently. "The beauty and modishness of her ...

    Article : 55 words
  20. W AND DOUBLE U.

    "Spell your name!" said the court clerk sharply. The witness began: "O, double T. I, double U, E, double L, double—." ...

    Article : 95 words
  21. ISN'T A LOAF ALWAYS BREAD?

    "How is Robert getting on at college?" asked the minister, who was being entertained at dinner. "Splendidly," said the proud father, who ...

    Article : 92 words
  22. OAKHURST ESTATE.

    The well known "Oakhurst Estate," in the celebrated Bland district of New South Wales, is to be subdivided into 26 blocks, in areas ranging from 659 acres to 1577 ...

    Article : 106 words
  23. GUILD DISPLAY.

    The annual display in connection with St. Matthew's Girls' Guild was held in the Long Gully Methodist School Hall on Saturday evening, and ...

    Article : 140 words
  24. NOT READING MATTER.

    "I won't pay one cent for my advertising this week," declared the storekeeper angrily to the editor of the country paper. "You told me you'd put the notice of my ...

    Article : 74 words
  25. ANNABEL.

    They give me things on Christmas Day, An' tell me, "Run along an' play." But where's the fun? I do it all! It's me that has to bounce the ball ...

    Article : 120 words
  26. INDIA'S ENTHUSIASM UNABATED.

    Mr. Asquith's speech has been telegraphed to India at remarkable length, and read with the deepest interest throughout the country, being well received by all ...

    Article : 101 words
  27. HER CLASSIFICATION.

    Little Mary's mother was writing a letter to her sister one day, and Mary, who did everything her mother did, was writing also. As she began she looked up and ...

    Article : 45 words
  28. UNNECESSARY.

    "What is your name, little boy?" inquired the kindergarten of her new pupil. "I don't know," said the little boy bashfully. ...

    Article : 60 words
  29. MANY KINDS OF HARD WORK.

    "I want you to understand," said young Spender, "that I got my money by hard work." "Why I thought it was left to you by ...

    Article : 48 words
  30. THE DRAWBACK.

    A good Methodist asked John Wesley to advise him in regard to a certain woman well known to both. The great preacher told the man that he ...

    Article : 92 words
  31. CAREFUL OF FACTS.

    Tom was very careful of the truth; punctilious, in fact. So when he got married and the minister asked him, "Well, Tom, I suppose you feel you got the best wife ...

    Article : 55 words
  32. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 327 words
  33. IDENTIFYING HER.

    "Brown, do you know the lady across the street?" asked Smith. "Let me see," replied Brown, "she certainly looks familiar. "That's my wife's ...

    Article : 40 words
  34. A POLISHED DIPLOMAT.

    "Did you see anything that particularly struck your fancy when you were looking around the furniture shops to-day?" asked a young husband of his bride on her ...

    Article : 73 words
  35. MIGHT GET IT THAT WAY.

    An absent-minded husband was asked by his wife to step in a store on his way down town and buy her three articles of feminine wear. Of course, when he reached the store ...

    Article : 88 words
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