"Have yer ever thought, Boss o' how many queer things happen about Xmas time?" "No," I answered drowsily. ...
Article : 1,241 wordsMillionaire (to his daughter)—"Tell me, child—that young man who wants to marry you this Christmas, has he got any money?" ...
Article : 50 wordsThe rising moon on the peaks was blending Her [?] light with the sunset glow, When a swagman came as the day was ending, Along a path that he seemed to know. ... [ILLUSTRATED]
Article : 727 words"Alas," sighed the moody man, "there is no gladness for me in this joyous season." "Tut-tut!" said the optimist. ...
Article : 93 words"Now, ladies and gentlemen," said the conjurer at the Christmas entertainment, pointing to his magic cabinet, "1 beg to call your attention to the great ...
Article : 135 wordsThe girl was attempting to dance with a fat man who couldn't. The fat man was a great bungler and he knew it. He gasped as they hoppled about. ...
Article : 77 wordsOne don't give much praise to potatoes, And it's quite an unusual thing To include them in poetical fancy, Or mention the blessings they bring. ...
Article : 291 wordsAll Irishman was on trial charged with assaulting a neighbour and fracturing his skull. During the trial several physicians testified that the man's skull was ...
Article : 81 wordsLittle Peter is a good boy, but he has the serious fault of being extremely forgetful. One day, after having gone on an errand, and forgotten what he was ...
Article : 87 wordsA kindly old gentleman who for manyyears ran a successful business not many miles from Edinburgh, was wont to be taken to task for his shabby[?] clothes. ...
Article : 81 wordsA well-known lecturer, whose speciality is ghosts, was thrilling his audience and making them feel decidedly creepy, as he discoursed eloquently on his uncanny ...
Article : 212 wordsThe reverend visitor was known to have no belief in ghosts, and his hostess had therefore no qualms about putting him to sleep in the haunted room. ...
Article : 218 wordsPassenger (to railway guard): How far is Dublin from Cork? Guard: One hundred and sixty-five miles, sir. ...
Article : 88 wordsLittle Bob sat in the big arm-chair wearing his best suit and an uncomfortable look. He had been disturbed in a Christmas Eve raid on the pantry. ...
Article : 97 words"My darling," said a fond mother, who believed in appealing to children's tender feelings instead of punishing them, "if you are so naughty you will ...
Article : 107 wordsTwo policemen, Casey and Murphy. while walking along the banks of a river the other day, espied the body of a man floating in the water. They at ... [ILLUSTRATED]
Article : 119 wordsCaptain de Broke (at the ball): Ivy, madam, in your hair? It's a charming idea; so thoughtful! Miss Goldie Methuselah: Are you so ...
Article : 72 wordsIt is a well-worn belief that a woman can never keep a secret. This only applies, however, to the less important events in her life. The secrets the average ...
Article : 123 wordsA young man named Older knew an old man named Younger. Old man Younger had a sou younger than Older, and another Younger older. ...
Article : 88 wordsIt was the evening of Christmas Eve. A special constable approached the cyclist. "Sir," said he, "your beacon has ...
Article : 101 wordsBobbie had never seen a live sheep, but one of his most treasured toys was a little woolly lamb on wheels, which he drew all about the house and yard. Last ...
Article : 68 wordsYoung Tom Toote was spending Christmas in the country and had been invited to the beautiful home of a sweet young thing named Agnes. ...
Article : 127 wordsA churchwarden of a country church—a great smoker—was to be married to a nurse from the local hospital. A fortnight previously it was decided by the ...
Article : 115 wordsMother: "You were a long time in the conservatory with Mr. Willing last night, my child. What was going on?" Daughter: "Did you ever sit in the ...
Article : 56 wordsThey were two simple old Scotsmen, from some lone shieling by a sequestered Thrums. Yet they had heard of pirates and thought they saw from the holiday ...
Article : 95 wordsMamma: "Johnny, sec that you give Ethel the lion's share of that orange." Johnny: "Yes, ma." Ethel: Mamma, he hasn't given me ...
Article : 45 wordsHe: "In the street to-day a very handsome young lady smiled at me!" She: Oh, I wouldn't feel badly about it. There are some men who look even ...
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Petersburg Times (SA : 1887 - 1919), Fri 20 Dec 1918, Page 1
It's easy and takes two shakes of a lamb's tail!
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