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  2. He Needed Encouragement.

    "Young man," said an apostle solemnly, "do you realise that when you retire at night you may be called before morning dawns ?" "I hope so; I'm a young doctor, and I need ...

    Article : 40 words
  3. Flotsam and Jetsam.

    [Some readers who have been kind enough to send in contributions for this column evidently do not Understand that only bush songs are wanted. The majority of so-called songs sent in are simply poems, ...

    Article : 213 words
  4. Thoughts.

    Never trust a woman half-way. Get as much advice as you can, and use as little as you can. If love were what the poets make it the ...

    Article : 127 words
  5. He Deserved His Escape.

    The residents of Staten Island, near New York, during its occupancy by the British in revolutionary times, were prohibited from keeping firearms of any description in their houses. ...

    Article : 262 words
  6. Satisfies Her Conscience.

    Mrs. Ighlife: "And how do yon manage to escape having that odious Mrs. Cheapstone at your lovely little dinners? One feels that one's obliged to invite her, you know." ...

    Article : 48 words
  7. A Hopeless Case.

    "Anything new this morning?" asked the asylum superintendent of his assistants. "Number 136 has begun to write poetry for the papers." ...

    Article : 39 words
  8. His Pint Was Better Than a Pound.

    Old sayings are nearly always truthful, but they must be applied with due discretion, as a woman in a little store discovered the other day to her sorrow. An old man called one ...

    Article : 163 words
  9. THE BROLGA'S LAUGH.

    The brolga laughs and the brolga shouts, The brolga's there when there's rain about; If it's going to rain he's sure to know, And then he'll laugh " Oh! oh! —oh! oh! ...

    Article : 298 words
  10. He Ran No Risk.

    A young married couple from Texas were doing Niagara Falls. They were being conducted under the falls by the guide. "You must take care now, for if you let your ...

    Article : 54 words
  11. Facts and Fancies.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.—HUDIBRAS A man does not need to be swift of foot to run Up bills. ...

    Article : 840 words
  12. Sarcasm.

    "Mister," said an urchin to the man who was driving a very poor horse, "do yon want me to hold 'im ?" "No; this horse won't run away." ...

    Article : 49 words
  13. Personalities.

    A humpback met a malicious one-eyed neighbour. "Ah," said the latter, "you have your load on your back early this morning." ...

    Article : 48 words
  14. They Wanted Fire.

    While Thomas Campbell was prosecuting his studies at the University of Glasgow he occupied apartments with an elder brother, who, though no poet himself, was a most ...

    Article : 160 words
  15. It Didn't Work

    Biway: "Use an alarm clock nowadays ?" Jigsup: "No; never tried one hot once." Biway: "How was that?" Jigsup: "Well, you see, the first time it ...

    Article : 62 words
  16. THE NEW MARILLA SHORE.

    Mr. W. F. D. Yonge, Pittsworth, writes:—l can supply a missing verse of "The New Marilla Shore," probably the second. This song was probably written by one Riley, a poetical and political basketmaker of ...

    Article : 137 words
  17. They Could Die.

    Brave old General Jim Steadman, during the thickest of the battle at Chickamaugua, dashed up to a retreating brigade and shouted: " Face about, boys! We must hold this point !" ...

    Article : 64 words
  18. A Burial Sons.

    I would flee from the city's rule and law— from its fashions and forms cut loose—and go where the strawberry grows on its straw and the gooseberry grows on its goose; where the ...

    Article : 221 words
  19. THE MERRY DAYS LONG GONE.

    I'm a poor old used-up stockman, My days are gone and past; I tried to keep my mustering fame, But it cannot always last. ...

    Article : 338 words
  20. Why He Evaded Her.

    "What makes yon always go home by a back street?" inquired a young man of Gus Smith; "it is several blocks out of your way." " I know that, but my girl lives on the direct ...

    Article : 95 words
  21. Boarders for Sale.

    A somewhat startling advertisement appeared lately in a Parisian paper, which illustrates the tendency of boarding-house keepers everywhere to regard their boarders ...

    Article : 59 words
  22. Anecdotes of Parrots.

    Why parrots have been fated to be made the heroes of so many strange tales it is puzzling to say, but the fact remains. We all remember the cheeky bird at the parrot show, who, ...

    Article : 325 words
  23. Only Snow.

    Not a few well-authenticated anecdotes go to show that even the people who enjoy the advantages of travel are often sadly unenlightened. ...

    Article : 105 words
  24. Wonderful Forgetfulness.

    Stranger (in train): "A man in your business can't get home very often, I presume?" Commercial: "Home? I should say not. Why, sir, I get home so seldom that I can't ...

    Article : 128 words
  25. They Thought Him Insane.

    The fruit man got religion, and on buying bonds and stocks And saving filthy lucre no longer he was bent; He placed the largest strawberries in the bottom of ...

    Article : 47 words
  26. A Valuable Acquisition.

    "I'll have you arrested for obtaining goods under false pretences," he exclaimed when they had a row and she told him she had only fooled him into marrying her anyhow. ...

    Article : 55 words
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