"You don't get much chance to ride your wheel this weather." "No." "I guess you almost forget you have a wheel, eh?" "Oh, no! I'm still paying the instalments." ...
Article : 35 wordsSir George White: "I hoped to have met you before, Sir Redvers." Sir Redvers Buller, V.C.: "Couldn't help it, General. Had so many engagements!" ...
Article : 26 wordsMamma: "I can't imagine what baby is crying for now." Papa: "Just to keep in practice, I suppose. He may not want anything just now, but he ...
Article : 34 wordsWheeler: "Is Scorcher superstitions?" Biker: "Very, he's got a bicycle-tire hanging over his door for good luck." ...
Article : 18 words"No man with any sense would approve of your actions, "said the angry husband. "But, my dear," calmly inquired his better half, "how do you know what a man with any ...
Article : 37 wordsGroom, on horseback (to nervous lady, also on horseback, whose bat has just been blown over the hedge): "Beg pardon, Miss. Will you 'old the 'osses while I run after the 'at? ...
Article : 47 wordsIt's a 'lessless' age,remarked Simpers. "What do you mean?" inquired Gales. "Here's a couple who entered upon a loveless marriage, drove away in a horseless ...
Article : 37 words"Did I see you comin' out o' my white folks' backyard late last night?" inquired Miss Miami Brown. "I dunno," answered Mr. Erastus Pinkley. ...
Article : 52 wordsVisitor: "And has baby began to talk?' Elsie: "Oh, yes; but he can only say one word as yet."Visitor: "And what's that?" Elsie: "Bang!" ...
Article : 29 wordsIn a Sunday school a teacher asked her class, "Boys, can any of you tell me anything about Good Friday?" "Yes'm, I can,"replied the urchin at the ...
Article : 47 wordsHe: "What did you discuss at the meeting of your literary club this afternoon, my dear?" She: "The outrageous action of Miss Burgins in almost doubling her price for making a ...
Article : 35 wordsShe: "You are a brute." The Brute: "You don't say so?" she: "yes, you are a horrid cruel wretch." The Brute: "How tragic." ...
Article : 31 wordsHe (returned from a tour round the world): "Awfully ugly little beggars, the Japs. Why, I was considered quite a good-looking chap out there!" ...
Article : 33 wordsMuch is said in these days about the importance of training the young to habits of observation. It is well to keep one's eyes open, but there are times when it is not a man's ...
Article : 225 wordsMrs. A.: "It's really extraordinary. My nurse tells me that gentlemen are always stopping her in the street to admire my little girl." ...
Article : 63 words"I don't ask you to remove your hat, miss," plaintively spoke the little man in the seat behind the fair damsel, "but if you will kindly refrain from wabbling your head I will take it ...
Article : 73 wordsMother (telling a fairy tale): "The palace was most beautiful, and scented with the most lovely perfumes, and-" Little Daughter (eagerly interrupting): ...
Article : 34 wordsSandy M'Pherson, in a moment of abstraction, put half-a-crown in the collection plate last Sunday in mistake for a penny, and has since expended a deal of thought as to the best ...
Article : 89 wordsHe (reading): "What the h-1." She (indignantly): "George! You will oblige me by not using such language in my presence." ...
Article : 34 wordsIn one of the suburbs of Liverpool lives a young man, who, though really a business man of good repute, is of light and airy manner, and somewhat given to gossip and the ...
Article : 96 wordsAunt (severely): "I thought I saw you riding along with a gentleman last evening, Niece": "You did, auntie." ...
Article : 67 words"I tell you," cried Wilks enthusiastically, "that baby of mine is a wonder. Think of it, 8 months old and can talk!" "Pshaw !" remarked his friend carelessly, ...
Article : 42 wordsA polite way of calling a woman a gossip is to say she is critical. "The older I get the more lively I am," said the Gorgonzola cheese. ...
Article : 593 words"Matrimony" was defined by a little girl at the head of a confirmation class in Ireland as "a state of torment into which souls enter to prepare them for another and a better world." ...
Article : 90 wordsFuddy: "Did you ever notice how quickly a man forgets you when he has borrowed money of you?" Cuddy: "Not been my. experience. They ...
Article : 41 wordsMrs. Smith repeatedly-reminded her husband that the silver was hers, the furniture was hers, and so on, until poor Smith almost wished he had married a girl without a penny. The ...
Article : 95 wordsFirst Doctor: "Well, I've lost old Yellow- boys!" Second Doctor: "you didn't expect him to recover, did you?" ...
Article : 33 wordsHusband (rushing into the room): "Come out quick, for heaven's sake !" Wife: "Why, what's the matter?" "The house is on fire, and we shall be burnt ...
Article : 70 wordsMaud (earnestly): "I want to ask you a question, George;" George (also earnestly): "What is it, deareat?" ...
Article : 38 wordsFond Mother: "If that boy of mine has any particular bent, I can't find it." [?]" What experiments have you made to find out?" Fond Mother: "Very ...
Article : 108 wordsHis regiment had been ordered our, and ne was saying a fond farewell to the girl he would so soon leave behind him, "But," said he, striving to take a cheerful ...
Article : 93 wordsWesterner: "I did know one case where we lynched the wrong man, but we made it all right afterwards." Tourist; "How could you make it all ...
Article : 37 wordsPassing a field in the Highlands one day I overheard the following somewhat mixed dialogue- "Hey, Dougall" shouted one Highland man to another,"d'ye no' hear me wavin' ...
Article : 54 wordsWhen Sir John Steell, the noted sculptor, had the Duke of Wellington sitting for a statue, he wanted him to look warlike. All his efforts were in vain, however, for Wellington ...
Article : 138 words"Hardaore stack a horseshoe over his barn door for luck. Lightning Btruck the horseshoe and set tire to the barn, burnt up the stable, two wheat fans, a lot of farming implements ...
Article : 109 wordsLofter: "Indeed, Miss De Vine, I mast say it. You are the belle of the ball." Miss De Vine: "Now, that is very nice of you. And you are the first to discover me, ...
Article : 65 wordsFussy Man (hurrying into a newspaper office): "I've lost my spectacles somewhere, and I want to advertise for them, but I can't see to write without them, you know." ...
Article : 120 wordsMake Pro-Boer observations in railway carriages, or other public places: it is an unhealthy practice, just at present. Hum an accompaniment whilst your hostess ...
Article : 111 wordsJones: "I had a good chance to say I 'told yon so' to Thompson to-day." Brown: "You did? How was that?" "Why, I strongly advised him against ...
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The Queenslander (Brisbane, Qld. : 1866 - 1939), Sat 28 Apr 1900, Page 788
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